Thank you for loving me. Even when I have had so many douts about us your still there for me, you make me smile and even though we have had some hard times and we have both screwed up big time I know that your there for me no matter what. You are my best friend, you have been there for me when no one else has or when it seemed like no one else was. When I start to pull away from you because I'm hurting you some how just know and hold me and comfort me. You know all my darkest secrets and you still love me.
Sometimes I'm really not sure how you do it, I'm tough sometimes, extremely stuborrn and have been hurt far to many times. Yet you stick it out and make me realize that you're there for me no matter what and that your never going to leave. I don't know what the future holds, but I will always love you. <3

I pinky promise

When things get tough always know that I'm here for you no matter what. Through thick and thin I'll always be by your side. Even when you move away I'll talk to you all the time, I'll visit you often and even though sometimes I`m not pysically there with you always know in your heart I will be with you, I`m just a call away. Yeah sometimes I have my days but no matter what I always put other people before myself, some people told me that I should work on that and focus on myself, and yes sometimes I should but when I see someone hurting worse then I am I go out of my way to try to help them.

When we first became friends I had no idea how much you would mean to me, you know everything about me and I hope I know everything about you to. Sometimes I feel like we're drifting apart and it sucks but with both of us working on that I'm sure we won't because if we do, well lets just say I'll be visiting you often..

When I see you hurting or you have this plan in your head, even though I can't I want you to know that I would do anything to take that away. I hate seeing you like that and would do anything to make it all go away. Trust me when I say I'm not leaving because even though everyone else left I'm not those people. I care about you and I know how much it hurts for someone to leave. Trust me ok? I am NEVER going to leave. I won't let that happen.

I pinky promise and pinky promises should never be broken. <3

Life is too short to wake up in regrets

This is one of my favourite quotes for a lot of reasons, it shows me that life is short so why waste time regreting things that you have done? I know I regret a lot of things but that's no reason to dwell on them. You have to love the people who treat you right and if they don't treat you right then what's the point in keeping them in your life when they hurt you? A person may treat you badly every now and then, but they still love you and they are just expressing how they feel about a situation. These words are amazing and every time I'm not in a very good mood then I go look at this quote and it reminds me to stop thinking about the past. The past is the past, there is nothing you can do to change what happened.

Nobody said that life would be easy, it is definatly not easy. There are so many things that people struggle with everyday but learning your weaknessess is the first step to making that step forward in a good future.

Hurt

Being hurt sucks, if its pysically or emotionally it still sucks. It honestly is the worst feeling in the world when you have a broken toe or heart. Some people don't understand why you are hurt emotionally by something, sometimes it's hard for someone to put themself into your shoes and walk for 10 miles. People just don't get it. Emotional pain is far more difficult to explain then a pysical pain, "I broke my toe, falling down the stairs" is a lot easier then saying "You've hurt me". Either way all we can do is try not to let this emotional pain build up, we don't have to tell everyone exactly how we feel sometimes people feel obligated to, but you don't have to. Maybe try venting out to a book by writing, or playing a musical instrument, going for a walk anything to calm down and realize that this won't last forever.

2012

I've been thinking about everything that happened the past year, the good and the bad and even though somethings you can forgive but not forget, not trust some people, and completly trust new people, it's time to let go of everything. The past is the past, there's no point in dragging it out. Me and my friends are writing how each day went in 2013 and then in 2014 we are going to read them all, to see how it went, so far its going great I know we will probably forget to write but it will be worth a try, I think that it is a great idea because then if your angry we can write instead of bringing that anger on ourself. 2013 is a time for change, a new you, new chances and a time to choose new things, and make new decisions. Pick whats best for you, and what you want to do, not what others want you to do. The past is the past, it's time to let go

Take a Chance, Make a Change

  I've been thinking about some things resently and I have decided to take a chance and make a change for myself, I Am Not going to over think everything anymore. Whats the point? people will tell you if they don't like you or you will get very strong feelings that they do not like you, your true friends will stick by you, and if not then I guess they aren't so true after all, I will learn to accept myself as I am, I will change for the better. I am through being that weak little girl, the one everyone has to tipitoe around, I am done trying to make everyone like me, if you don't like me then don't talk to me. I would rather people hate me for who I am then love me for who I'm not. Sure sometimes feelings and emotions are extremely overwhelming but I know that I have friends that love me and a terrific boyfriend and they would do anything to make me happy, and I would do the same for all of them. I want to make a change and I am going to take baby steps up the ladder to be the person that I want to be, I want to be what I picture myself as, I want to be the amazing person everyone thinks I am and I am trying, I will acomplish that. I want to take that chance and make that change.<3

New Year, New Start

New Years Eve is comming and I like to think of it as a new start to the new year. my new years resolution is every month at the end for 2-3 days go vegan to clear out all the toxins out, also to take care of myself first. I'm not sure why I chose these but I know that I am going to stick to it and make it work, I hope that whoever is reading this will pick a resolution to challange yourself and to try to make a better you. This is a new start to the year so go out and make it worth while.

Thank you.

 

Ever feel like you meet someone and that is exactly how you don't want to be? That is how I feel about some people. I know I don't want to be like them and I know I never want to turn out like that. I don't know how some people can go and talk crap about their "best friend" If they were your best friend then they wouldn't be talking about you in that way. I know we all have flaws but that doesn't mean that your "friend" should be talking about you like that. Some people need to lose something before they realize that what they had was good, and sometimes people don't even realize it, this makes me really sad because they lost their friend and they don't care.

Some people need to learn how to appreacite the small things that we do for them, because it's a lot of small things that add up to a big one. Most people may be thinking, Oooh who cares about the small things. But I know I care about the little things that people do for me, liking a picture on facebook, texting me something nice, complimenting me in some way when they know I'm having a bad day, because all those small things can help someone when they need it.

All I know is that I am so thankful for all those people who showed me what I don't want to be.

The sun will come up..

Ever feel like you don't know when the sun will rise for you, that you don't know when the darkness will end? Trust me you are not alone. Everyone goes through this at one point or another and trust me it does get better. You have to believe that the sun will rise and you will be kissed by the sun once again. Even in your darkest moments you have to stay strong and not give into the darkness, you have to stay strong for so many people because so many people care about you.

Drawing

I love drawing, it acts as a stress reliever for me and it also gives me a chance to take my mind off of things. Even though I am not the greatest at drawing I still love to do it, it takes practice but with a little work you'll get better. Above is a picture I drew of Marilyn Monroe, she is my inspiration I look up to her because she shows that society is ugly, pressuring people into looking and dressing a certian way. If I could meet anyone living or dead it would be her, she taught me how to love my body and accept myself for who I am.

Real friends

Everyone needs true friends, unforunatly some people aren't as real as you think. You only find out who your true friends are when your dealing with something and you need them there for you, and they leave. It sucks, but you have to remember that its for the best and that they weren't meant to be your friend. There are so many people out there that you want to trust and you want them to be your friend, but they won't be there when you need them the most. I have been through this, I was going through some stuff and luckly I chose the right side, where I have a friend that loves and cares about me and would do anything to help me.
If you have a friend that you know won't be there for you when you need them, then I think you should find better friends, because when you need a shoulder to cry on or someone to vent to they won't be there. As harsh as that sounds, but you deserve better and there are so many people out there that are willing to be your friend all you have to do is talk to people and you have a new friend

Blogging..

I haven't been blogging lately, I haven't been in the right state of mind and I don't want my blogs to be depressing and hurtful to anyone who is reading them. I love blogging, it is a great way to vent and it also takes your mind off of things. I have wrote a couple blogs, not posting them because I just needed to vent, thats what I do. Call me weird I don't care, it helps me don't knock it before you try it. So an update I am loving the winter here up in Canada, everything looks so pretty and sparkly and it also looks refreshing. I love the look of winter, I hate being cold but I deal with it because I know it's just a passing thing. Like many of the other things I have been going through I know that it will all pass and eventually the sun will come out.

I have to say that to my best friend that is reading this, I love you so much you have helped me through so many things I can't even possibly explain. My best friend is the one who told me about creating a blog, that its good for venting and it helps and at first I said "I don't know maybe" and then I finally made one and I'm so happy I did because it helps so much and I love blogging.

I don't know what to blog about I have so many things that I want to say but for now I will just say that anyone out there that is reading this and is having a rough time with anything at all, create a blog, it helps so much, you can get everything off your chest and it feels great. You don't have to publish it even just writing helps some people, don't knock it before you try it :)

Advice

Some people can't take advice, they swear their going to change and work on it and they don't. A lot of people have this problem including me, I am stubborn and I don't always take peoples advice, but when they give it to me I try and listen to it for example someone tells me they dislike something that I do, I'll try to fix it to try and make people like me more, or if someone says to try and lead someone in a certain direction I may not agree at the time but I will listen and I will try and give that someone that opportunity to be lead in the right path. Not everyone notices that they are trying to give good advice, some people even get mad because they think you are starting to lead them in the wrong path and so on but really your their for them and you want them to be happy and have a wonderful life. Sometimes I don't know what to say or do put in a particular situation but I always give honest answers and thats what I think everyone else should do to, try their best and if it doesn't work out then it's not meant to be and thats okay because in the end everything will turn out ok.

I'll pick you up when you fall

    Best friends are always there when you need a helping hand up, my best friend always helps me up when I need it. Everyone has someone or needs to find someone that will pick them up when they are struggling, to have someone there for them. Some people don't know if they can pick themself back up and friends make it possible, they show you that there is a reason to keep going and for that everyone should be greatful. They are there for you through thick and thin and that means the world, sometimes they don't know what to do, or say and the best thing for you to do is to just be there, people don't expect you to have the answers, no one does. You've led them in the right direction and that is the best thing you can do for your friend. People often think that the reason someone has fallen is their fault, if they did something different or said something different it would've changed everything. I don't believe this, people fall because they don't know what to do it is no ones fault, yes the person may have been struggling with some issues with either their boyfriend/girlfriend, family, school, bullys etc. But that does not mean that it is your fault.
    They make it possible to trust people knowing that they care about you and not being afraid of peoples reaction. The best thing for someone who is falling is to be there when they need to talk. Some people shut down when they need someone there the most, people are not a mind reader so you shouldn't feel bad when they tell you how their night was that morning, they may be afraid to show their feelings because they may feel weak, insecure, helpless of the situation, or just afraid. I love the people who have and will always be there for me, and they know that I will always be there for them when they need it to <3

Switch places

Do you ever want to switch places for a day just to see what they were thinking or you wanted to show them what you were thinking? I do all the time, life would be so much easier if that could happen, but sadly it can't. We have to be open with people in order for them to turly know whats going on, sometimes it's hard to be open because we don't want to bring people down but I've learned that it's better to be brutally honest then worry about bringing people down. Your best friend wants you to be honest instead of hiding things and backing away.

True Friends are hard to come by..

True friends, we think we have them but who is really there for you when your put into a tough situation? I know I love all my real friends that are there for me through thick and thin, no matter what. Even when I don't tell them what's going on they know, and it takes everything I have for me not to burst out into tears because I know that they love me. I Love all of them so much if I lost any of them I would be completely lost, I wouldn't know where to go. All I know is that real friends are hard to come by and once you have a true friend never ever let them go <3

Stop rushing

Ever feel like your rushing everything? this may include school a realtionship basically anything, this is how I feel I want to get everything done right now and I can't. I need to take my time and enjoy the little things like hanging out with my highschool friends, talking to a teacher to get as much information that I can about anything. You don't have to rush into anything you have to make a choice if you would rather rush everything and end up wondering why didn't I enjoy all the little things or you can sit back and have a good time. This doesn't mean to slack off in anything it just means manage your time better and be happy, if your friends want to go out with you and you have something due in 2 days tell them that you can go later because you don't want to rush. Just remember it is your choice to stop rushing.

Stress

Some times are stressful and there are a lot of different ways to deal with it and everyone has different ways that they deal with stress they may not be good but thats still how they deal with it. I deal with stress by reading, venting out to my best friend or boyfriend, and I'll sing, these are good ways to deal with stress there are also other ways like; walking, jogging (any form of exersicing), cooking, talking to someone about it, or anything that will take your mind off of it. You shouldn't get to stressed over something like a quiz in school or one of your friends being mad at you becuase those are just little things if your friend was Really mad at you and you know that then you can talk to them about it and if the quiz was 10% of your mark then you can stress a little bit about that, but there are always healthy ways to deal with stress you just have to try and find the best way to deal with stress for yourself. 

Every now and then I break

Ever feel like your being ignored by the ones you love the most and you don't know what to do? this feeling is horrible you may have a bunch of emotions going through your head, you are probably sad, lonely, depressed and angry. You might be thinking why are they ignoring me? Am I not good enough for them? Whatever you're thinking stop right now. You are loved they may just be having a bad day and don't really want to talk, whatever their reason is they still love you. I know it's hard to think that but they do, and once you realize that then you will be much happier with yourself and others. Being sad is one of the most horrible feelings there is you just want to cry all the time you may not even have a reason to be sad but you still are. I hate crying I feel that I'm being weak and I should suck it up, this is not true, it is okay to cry because you need to let out your saddness or anger some how and crying is an exelent way, instead of harming yourself or others. You may feel weak while your crying but you are not weak at all, it's ok to break every now and then just know that there are people out there that will talk and help you, it may be your best friend, girlfriend/boyfriend, or a teacher who ever it is don't bottle up your saddness and anger. Remember it's okay to break every now and then <3

The definition of beautiful does not require the word skinny.

Not feeling good about your body? you just want to be pretty and skinny? Every one is beautiful in their own shape and size, it doesn't matter if you don't look or aren't as skinny as the people in magazines they're airbrushed to make people feel bad about themselves so they can get you to buy their product. You don't need to be skinny to be beautiful, people come in all shapes, sizes, and cololurs and they are all beautiful. You have to learn to accept your body the way it is, because you will probably never be as skinny as the people in magazines. Yes accepting your body the way it is, is pretty hard sometimes but you have to try because you are beautiful. If you want to aim for something aim for fit and not skinny, don't look at that scale because muscle weighs more then fat, use a tape measure instead. Remeber you are beautiful the way you are and the definition of beautiful does not require the word skinny <3